Have I Chicken and Egged it? Shit Yeah!
This morning a friend and fellow mumpreneur and I were discussing the money and time we have spent on professional and personal development programs, coaching and ‘golden business opportunities’. I told her about my challenging experiences and casually remarked about the old chicken and the egg scenario, you need to spend money to make money yet sometimes it’s so hard to find the money to spend to make money! She was shocked to learn about my struggles. Although we are close friends we have only known each other for a relatively short time and she had no idea how much chicken and egging I had done for years and years before we had met. All I could say in response to whether I had chicken and egged was ‘Shit yeah!!’
The amount of money and time I have invested in my professional and personal development is phenomenal! The amount of time and money that I did not have that I invested in professional and personal development is phenomenal as well. Most of these investments certainly paid off but many did not. The point is, however, that although from the outside many people appear to have it all and be super achievers many paid a big price to get there. It’s the behind the scenes stuff that we don’t see, the failures, tears and fear.
Three years ago I was just getting back on to my feet after losing close to 40k on a business deal that promised me an amazing financial outcome if I worked for free on a six-month project. I put my heart and soul into this deal and continued operating my business and paying my staff to not only do their jobs but mine as well while I was otherwise occupied. Needless to say, the golden deal did not come through, I was dealing with the big fish and I was small fry and did not adequately protect myself. I take full responsibility as I dove into it too quickly with too much enthusiasm thinking that I had hit gold. What I did learn however is to not assume that people think the same way as me – and that was a massive lesson.
While trying to get my business back on track, frequently taking on the wrong type of customer as I desperately tried to get cash back into my business, I nearly drove myself insane. I gave too much for too little, often worked for free and continued to lose money. I spent loads on what I thought would be quick fixes and paid people to tell me how to run my business even though their advice did not sit right with me. At the same time, I was diagnosed with high blood pressure. I was a mess! Furthermore being constantly stressed, working long hours and feeling bitter and angry for what had happened to me caused massive strain on my marriage and my relationship with my children. I felt stupid, powerless, vulnerable and a sense of injustice that completely immobilized me.
Breaking point came when my husband gave me the ultimatum of either getting my business back on track as well as my health and happiness or winding it down and getting paid employment. Also knowing that I was killing myself with high blood pressure was a serious wake-up call. The damage that not only I but also my children had suffered was awful. They had unwillingly been taken along on this ride, they had their own teenage stuff to deal with and I was making things even worse.
The fact that my family, my health and my sanity were number one priority was a no brainer but I had put years of hard work, blood, sweat and tears (more like uncontrollable sobbing!!!) into my business. I didn’t want to walk away just yet. Anyone who knows me will know once I get my mind stuck on something and make a decision to go for it I go into a place of complete focus, drive and determination. That’s what I decided to do for my business and my life. Within six months I fumbled my way through and finally come up with a way out. So not as to turn this blog into a novel I’ll be as brief as I can and tell you that it was all the stuff I knew anyway but hadn’t put into action!!! I developed a plan of action and it friggin worked! I took baby steps but each step got me closer to where I wanted to be. It got me out of the hole I had dug and enabled me to turn my business into something I love, makes me happy AND makes money.
I can honestly tell you that once you put out to the universe, God or whatever higher power you may believe in, exactly what you want and then take measured and focused action to achieving this, shit actually happens – yes it does, I guarantee it!!
So, yes I have certainly chicken and egged it big time. My journey has been interesting! I have grown more in the past 5 years than I have in the past 20. I haven’t purchased my country weekender (yet!) but my business had enabled me to meet some amazing people many of who are incredibly successful and operate from a place of integrity and love, not greed and hate. I have made friends with people who I would not have otherwise met and let me tell you they have the most beautiful souls! I have travelled to exciting places and even been paid to do so. I can spend quality time with my gorgeous children and invest in my own health and happiness. I have been able to help hundreds of people define and reach their goals, make their businesses profitable and begin to do the things in their lives that that have always dreamed of doing. I have shown my children that we are the creators of our own lives, that you can hit rock bottom yet get back up again and move on in a direction that brings more happiness, success and peace than any other roads you may have travelled otherwise.
Has it been an amazing journey? Shit Yeah!