27 Oct How to STOP Sabotaging Your Success
Why do we sabotage ourselves when we are so close to achieving our goals?
We have these amazing goals, and once we are nearly there and can finally see results, we do something that makes us take a step back into our old reality. We have struggled to breakthrough to a higher level of success and then whoosh, something happens that takes us back to where we were before.
This is because we all have unconscious, ingrained levels of just how successful and happy we can be. Gay Hendricks in his book ‘The Big Leap’ describes it as an inbuilt success thermostat, a ‘set point’ that was programmed when we were children. If we go above this level we are moving out of our comfort zone and therefore, we unconsciously self-sabotage ourselves to get back down to what we are familiar and where we feel secure. We may secure a profitable deal and then have a huge fight with our partner, get sick or our computer may blow up. We then think we are not worthy of success, of making money or of being wealthy – this is called ‘Upper Limiting’.
Let me share another example. During the Christmas holidays I decided that I wanted to be super healthy, lose a few kilos and get some mental clarity back. For one month I was frigging amazing!! I ran, walked, climbed hills, swam, ate only but fresh and unprocessed food, drank no grog, went to bed at a reasonable time and woke up fresh and ready to climb more hills.
I cannot tell you how good I felt not just physically but my mental clarity helped me churn out some great work super efficiently. I was a few kilos away from my ideal weight and working like a pro. This was going to be the best year ever!!
I then screwed it up! Completely!! Caught up with friends and ate the worst foods I could choose on the menu (I even had creamy pasta for lunch!!!), drank grog, ate cakes, reduced my exercise as I felt shit and had no energy, put on weight and lost my mental clarity. I had completely sabotaged my success around reaching my goal weight, health, energy levels and the mental clarity to produce work that would bring in some great money and help me reach my financial goals.
I was upper limiting big time.
I know my self-sabotaging patterns and my ‘set point’ is getting higher so I was able to identify my behaviour and get back on track. Remember, once you are conscious of your upper limiting behaviour you can stop it. It takes persistence, courage and effort but the rewards are well worth it. Start with gradually increasing your set point, allow yourself to experience and feel good about more success, wealth, happiness, love, health etc.
Pay particular attention to your thoughts and remind yourself of your goal. Having someone to help you accountable, like a coach or mentor, will make things loads easier.
Everyone Upper Limits, it’s part of the journey and of being human. Be aware of the ‘Why does this always happen to me?’, ‘I’ll never succeed’ internal dialogue and be kind and gentle with yourself. Gradually set your thermostat higher and celebrate even the smallest successes.
In the words of Danielle LaPorte:
‘Remind yourself that you asked for your success.
You’re right where you should be.
Let your success imprint on your cells.’